Excellent post, Wayne!! I think many of us in the virtual world struggle with this same problem everyday. I know I have…. with you actually.

Shana Albert, Owner
ABC Home Preschool and
ABC Home Preschool’s Everything Preschool Blog

Hi Shana and thanks for the comment!

Shana & I talk a lot, and we both experience the lingo lag from time to time.

For instance, she will ask me: “What’s happening?” as a salutation. But to me, that’s a distress signal, as if there’s something wrong.

We speak the same language, and then we don’t .. all at the same time…

Very interesting post, Wayne. It’s certainly food for thought that is becoming increasing relevant with each day bringing more and more people looking toward the internet for work. I find, even myself, that I have become increasingly lax in my emails, often typing them out instinctually and sending before really stepping back to evaluate my words.

But while there are different concerns with the written word, the challenges aren’t so different than a typical office. I worked in the entertainment industry for several years, and things happen surprisingly the same way. Conversations are brief – niceties are reserved for special people or occasions only. Perhaps New Yorker are known for being particularly casual, but special greetings or good-byes (especially online) seem out-of-place and almost suspicious.

The real question at hand is: are people slowly losing the skill of socializing? Of course we know that broad generalization isn’t equivalently true, but the double-edged sword of anonymity on the internet is certainly having an effect. Look at how many couples have met on match.com – or disgusting predators that stalk children – or gossipers that seem to be all over ever level of media nowadays.

Ok, this girl is rambling from too much red wine, but really enjoyed the post as it got me thinking. And that’s what the web is for.

IMing steadily becomes a modern way of communication and can be reviewed as the next evolutional step after e-mail. To prove this - huge number of different IMs for different protocols or just aggregating different protocols into a single client, web-based- or desktop-based clients, different add-on’s adapting an IM for different communities like smile sets for teenagers or storing an IM history online (http://www.im-history.com) for people who treats IMing more seriously.

Hi Kate, so what you’re saying is, the regular pleasantries, salutations et cetera are drifting out of fashion in the real word, too?

Maybe the trend started in the real world?

The thing is, I’m not a city dweller, and for me, pleasantries are much more common-place where I come from.

On those occasions that I travel into a city, meeting people who do acknowledge others with pleasantries is not very common.

The subject of internet anonymity is something I’ve wrestled with recently.

It’s a tough topic, largely because there are so many differing angles of approach and points of view.

Personally, I try not hide behind a pseudonym. Yes, I have usernames on forums. But if asked, I’m quick to tell people about myself.

However, my experience is that others aren’t as quick to ‘de-cloak’ and reveal their true identity.

Lots to think about…

Thanks for the response, Wayne.

I think we are finding our way into a modern chicken-or-the-egg argument. I understand my personal experience does not an urban trend make, but I think the two trends probably happened simultaneously. The decrease of urban communities is very striking, not to mention the suburban phenomenon and urban sprawl. There are very few neighborhoods left, slowly fracturing and disintegrating, which can definitely seen in New York and Philadelphia (two cities I can discuss with certainty).

Perhaps it is a coincidence that all this has occurred as the internet’s popularity has steadily grown?

On the case of anonymity, I think you pretty much have it covered in the post you linked to. In my experience people are generally more than happy to talk about themselves given the chance. I agree that people’s fear of negative “personality branding” certainly plays a part. Even those that are not internet-savvy warn that it is easy to Google employees, potential dates, etc.

Very much to think about, indeed.

Hi Wayne;

I never realized just how much I relied on facial expression and tone of voice to decipher the mood of a conversation until I started using IM extensively, both on the job and socially. Yes, there have been times where I’ve misinterpreted the meaning in a message, (apparently I don’t ‘get’ sarcasm, among other things) but I totally blame the other person

And while electronic communications have become the most expedient way of getting anything done these days, it’s also added volumes to the chaos and confusion of the day. People are in such a hurry to say want they want in as few words as possible, that deriving any particular meaning out of a conversation usually means extensive research on my part or more often than not, finding myself having to ‘ask’ for further elaboration on theirs… which for some reason seems to irritate most people! (I’m probably the only person I know that needs to open a translator and a dictionary the minute the IM window pops open!)

In any regards, for me it’s still a great bit of technology that I wouldn’t live without, simply for the social aspects it affords me. And I for one, still try to keep at least some of the pleasantries alive.

BTW: I’ve de-cloaked just for you

Hi Kate!

What we’re probably seeing is a mix of things, which a social psychologist would probably love to disentangle.

Much of the societal stuff we call ‘Netiquette is most probably derived from the ‘received wisdom’ of those that pioneered the internet and then the web .. when every byte really did count!

Then there’s the mix of people’s, such as city folk and country folk.

So it’s a rich mix, really.

Hi Anna!

You’re probably a good example of the kind of person who’s happy with your own pace of things, but sometimes gets swept up into the fast lane by others.

That’s not to be disrespectful, it’s just that Kate asked me earlier how I manage the inflow of data I receive daily.

I’m just used to it, suppose.

And as for de-cloaking, didn’t I get you to do that on PR Blogger t’other day?

So what am I? An after-thought?!

I’m wounded…

[Please note: Anna knows I'm only joking. We're like this most of the time.]