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Are you an advertorialinsultomercialist?

Thursday, 16 August 2007 — by

If you’re a business owner, or in sales, we’ve all done it. So don’t act all coy, coming over all who-me. We say we’re not going to do it, but after a few drinks and a sudden rush of confidence .. oops! Out it comes. You start to slight your competition, but dress it up as something informative. And then you realize, it’s really only just a veiled insult dressed down as an up-sell…

Welcome one & all to the wonderful world of the advertorialinsultomercial!

The thing is, we all like to think we’re pretty damn ace at what we do. We’ll routinely bang on about what we’re good at, but neglect to mention what we’re usually crap at.

Undaunted by this omission, our optimism driving like an insane horseman, we continue on, unabated.

My other car is a porsche…

So you’re talking to some guy at some business get-together in some town, somewhere.

You’ve pressed all of the right flesh, smiled like an idiot at all the right people.

The red wine is going down like a gud’n and you think you can walk on water.

This guy starts regaling you with tales of woe & misery. How a previous supplier left him with his pants down.

You: “Hmm, yeah. Oh, terrible. For sure, you should see them in court, I would.”

And you’re just itching to get in there with the: “Well you see, that’s just not how we do things. We at [name of your company here]…” And off you go.

You just keep on bringin’ me down!

“The other guys, ha .. I worked with the head of [name of company here] and he was, erm, a bit of a shill. Didn’t mind cutting corners, if you know what I mean.”

Nudge, nudge! Wink, wink!

“They just charge you up front and then don’t deliver. And then there’s [name of an individual here] who works for [name of another company here] and they buy all their kit from [name of some much maligned Asian country here]!”

Say no more, mate!

“I mean, we’re named brand only. Don’t touch the knock-off stuff. Not with a barge pole. Tell you what, here’s my business card, call me any time. I’ll sort you out. No danger!”

At the end, you think you’ve armed this guy with all of the knowledge he’s going to need to Make The Right Choice™ when in actual fact, all you’ve done is gossip and done very little to actually promote your own business.

And even if you did, your message was lost amongst the tawdry tittle-tattle you were burping out into his ear hole.

So that roving, booze-fueled advert quickly morphed into a series of scattergun-style insults and then abruptly transmogrified into a not-so-slick utterly shameless, self-promotional commercial.

Now, if you turn quickly, you’ll see the guy walk out towards the bar. That piece of paper he’s just tossed into the ashtray? That was your business card…

About the author

Wayne Smallman is the man behind Octane Interactive, a web design, web applications development and internet marketing agency. Octane has been around since 1999 and is based in Yorkshire, England.

Wayne has been in the new media industry working as a web designer & developer since the mid nineties and also provides a consultation service to businesses looking to make the most of their web presence.

He’s a passionate believer in the power of technology to better the lives of everyone and his passion and drive are hallmarks of his attitude to doing business.

Wayne is also the author of a series of web-related articles for businesses and individuals wanting to know more about the web and how the web can help them be more productive and work smarter, not harder.

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Kate → Thursday, 16 August 2007 @ 14:58 BDT

Good point, well written.

And people wonder why marketers get a bad rep.

P.S. You should SM that word!

Wayne Smallman → Thursday, 16 August 2007 @ 22:55 BDT

Hi Kate!

I’ve sort of done this myself, though not the drinking wine part ‘coz I can’t stand the stuff.

I usually realize when I about to do it, and stop dead.

I say sort of, because I really don’t know who my competition are.

Largely because I don’t care!

The ultimate disrespect, I imagine.

I get talking to a lot of people who have been really badly burned in the past and become vary wary of dealing with other web agencies.

At times like these, I’m a councilor, a catholic priest and a diplomat all at the same time…

Brian Heys → Friday, 17 August 2007 @ 21:14 BDT

Over on my blog, in my post that’s fast becoming a ‘Pownce vs. Twitter’ thread, you said Twitter seemed to be a domain of the advertorialinsultomercialist.

I’m not sure I’ve noticed this. Care to elaborate a bit?

Wayne Smallman → Friday, 17 August 2007 @ 21:57 BDT

OK, elaborate I shall .. or at least try!

I’d usually see comments like: “These guys are dicks! You don’t use [name of tech’ here] like that! They suck!”

Or: “I just spotted some ****tard using [name of tech’ here] to write a [name of web service here]. A**holes!”

Which is pretty bad.

Then there’s people wanting to friend you and all I get in return is a barrage of cryptic sales messages and TinyURL links…

Brian Heys → Saturday, 18 August 2007 @ 10:30 BDT

I know what you mean about the sales messages and TinyURL links. I’ve noticed that myself. Sometimes, I do click on them though, and they’re not all useless.

Beware of would-be psychic clients and mutant projects → Friday, 12 October 2007 @ 16:34 BDT

[…] Are you an advertorialinsultomercialist? […]

Sorry Comments are close. Quite possibly for a good reason. Share your thoughts on some of my other posts or contact me directly.

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