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Are you an advertorialinsultomercialist?
Thursday, 16 August 2007 — by Wayne Smallman
If you’re a business owner, or in sales, we’ve all done it. So don’t act all coy, coming over all who-me. We say we’re not going to do it, but after a few drinks and a sudden rush of confidence .. oops! Out it comes. You start to slight your competition, but dress it up as something informative. And then you realize, it’s really only just a veiled insult dressed down as an up-sell…
Welcome one & all to the wonderful world of the advertorialinsultomercial!
The thing is, we all like to think we’re pretty damn ace at what we do. We’ll routinely bang on about what we’re good at, but neglect to mention what we’re usually crap at.
Undaunted by this omission, our optimism driving like an insane horseman, we continue on, unabated.
My other car is a porsche…
So you’re talking to some guy at some business get-together in some town, somewhere.
You’ve pressed all of the right flesh, smiled like an idiot at all the right people.
The red wine is going down like a gud’n and you think you can walk on water.
This guy starts regaling you with tales of woe & misery. How a previous supplier left him with his pants down.
You: “Hmm, yeah. Oh, terrible. For sure, you should see them in court, I would.”
And you’re just itching to get in there with the: “Well you see, that’s just not how we do things. We at [name of your company here]…” And off you go.
You just keep on bringin’ me down!
“The other guys, ha .. I worked with the head of [name of company here] and he was, erm, a bit of a shill. Didn’t mind cutting corners, if you know what I mean.”
Nudge, nudge! Wink, wink!
“They just charge you up front and then don’t deliver. And then there’s [name of an individual here] who works for [name of another company here] and they buy all their kit from [name of some much maligned Asian country here]!”
Say no more, mate!
“I mean, we’re named brand only. Don’t touch the knock-off stuff. Not with a barge pole. Tell you what, here’s my business card, call me any time. I’ll sort you out. No danger!”
At the end, you think you’ve armed this guy with all of the knowledge he’s going to need to Make The Right Choice™ when in actual fact, all you’ve done is gossip and done very little to actually promote your own business.
And even if you did, your message was lost amongst the tawdry tittle-tattle you were burping out into his ear hole.
So that roving, booze-fueled advert quickly morphed into a series of scattergun-style insults and then abruptly transmogrified into a not-so-slick utterly shameless, self-promotional commercial.
Now, if you turn quickly, you’ll see the guy walk out towards the bar. That piece of paper he’s just tossed into the ashtray? That was your business card…
About the author
Wayne Smallman is the man behind Octane Interactive, a web design, web applications development and internet marketing agency. Octane has been around since 1999 and is based in Yorkshire, England.
Wayne has been in the new media industry working as a web designer & developer since the mid nineties and also provides a consultation service to businesses looking to make the most of their web presence.
He’s a passionate believer in the power of technology to better the lives of everyone and his passion and drive are hallmarks of his attitude to doing business.
Wayne is also the author of a series of web-related articles for businesses and individuals wanting to know more about the web and how the web can help them be more productive and work smarter, not harder.
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« Wikipedia in political web warfare — Social Networks: your data, on-demand »
Good point, well written.
And people wonder why marketers get a bad rep.
P.S. You should SM that word!